prelude to tragedy (panophobia) wrote in ieatenough,
prelude to tragedy

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i eat..too much?

i just wrote this in my journal, and thought it'd be funnily appropriate here...

holy god i am so fat.

so, here's the story:

me and carri decided that we miss dressing up for dances a whole lot, and our old high school's homecoming is this weekend. so, in spirit, we were going to dig out our old prom dresses, get glamoured up and go out to a fancy schmancy dinner.

well, i put on my junior prom dress, and it's all great but it's nothing like my senior prom dress. so i put that on. and...i can't zip it. but i have to because i LOVE IT and I WANT TO WEAR IT THIS SATURDAY. but with all my might, the zipper won't budge. so i take it off, and put on a long line. and i try again. the zipper comes up just a tad bit more than originally and i start crying. i suck it up and suck it in with all my might, force the hook and eye together and zip it despite it's adversion to closing. and oh god, it hurts so bad. i stumble to the mirror and look at my horribly squished body and start crying again. one, because i'm terribly fat, and two because the boning is pushing out of the dress and sticking into my boob and it hurts soooo bad.

worst part is, i can't unzip it. oh god, my tit is bleeding and i can't get the fucker off.

tonight is horrible. that's the final straw. i'm becoming anorexic.

this whole story is only funny when you know that i only weigh ***. (three *'s?! that means she broke 100?! what the fuck?!)

this is the first year my entire life i have ever weighed more than 100 lbs. i've been steadily 92-96 for as long as i can remember. i don't know what happened. nothing in any of my habits changed. i seriously can't believe this. i don't think i look horrible. i'm still unaveragely skinny. it's just...

i don't feel like myself.
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